The Blame Game


My heart is heavy. I feel sorrow, compassion, grief, righteous anger and disbelief at the state of the American family and society. Like tens of thousands before me, I wonder how we ever got to this level of chaos and insanity. Fractured is a great word to describe it. The trickle down (or up) effect is huge. Individuals are broken, therefore negatively impacting their families and friends. Those people continue the cycle in their communities, workplaces, families, political parties, and so on and on and on until an entire country is infected and plagued with lack of common sense, failure to exercise moral conscience and insists that everything is right. Everything that is unless it is not what they want.

What causes such an outrageous explosion of idiocy? The blame game. For several generations now, especially the last two, people have been told nothing is their fault. One is violent because of one’s childhood, a rapist is created because of a domineering mother and not because of personal choice and accountability. Someone once told me that she was not responsible for her actions because “I have an addictive personality.” That one came straight from a rehab facility. She had been taught there to pass on the responsibility for her actions and blame someone or something else. Do alcoholics drink because they have an inherited gene? No, it is because of personal choice. That gene does exist however it does not force the elbow to bend and the mouth to imbibe.

Blaming anyone other than self goes back to the beginning of humankind. In the garden of Eden, two people lived the perfect life. They had everything they needed and wanted, including a personal relationship with God Himself. Then everything changed. Eve was approached by a sinuous deceiver and she decided that she wanted more; she wanted to be God. She was already made in His image, had His love, protection, provision and everything else she needed and wanted. He even gave her an amazing husband who adored her. That man, Adam, was the first being ever created. He was the original, everyone who came afterward has been the copy. Adam was with Eve when she made a conscious choice to do wrong. Afterward when they were lovingly confronted by God, Adam was the first living creature to play the Blame Game. He created it. He blamed his beautiful, beloved wife and God also. “It was that woman YOU gave me. She gave me the fruit and I just ate it. Not my fault. The blame lies with her and with You.” Then Eve blamed the serpent. All these thousands of years later, we still play the Blame Game and have perfected it.

Not my fault, not my fault! So now we live in a country where people do what they want, what is right in their own minds and not what they should be doing. Our culture is saturated with ungodliness. Women kill unborn babies because…. just because they desire to kill unwanted or inconvenient babies. Parents change the gender of a child because they want a boy or girl or genderless offspring. Men live as women and vice versa. Then they demand to use restrooms that fit their own definition of who they are and refuse to accept nature’s designation. Then when something awful happens, it is not their fault. Meanwhile children are involved and that is always my first earthly priority. God remains first in my life.

Our children are being raised to play the Blame Game and they are expert at it. Recently a teenage boy I know became angry and shouted to the full volume of his voice at a teacher. Others who witnessed the incident thought he was going to strike her and he was removed from the classroom. He felt justified because she snapped at him. After days of counseling, his first response to the question of why this all happened was “she snapped at me” with no accountability or admission that he had interrupted her over and over.

My point of all this is to remind us all that we have choices to make and will feel the consequences. Those often last a lifetime and affect future generations. It divides families, friends, communities, societies and individuals from God. Divisionism causes fractured relationships, broken people. We must stop blaming and accept responsibility. Together we all have beauty, gifts, talents and potential. However, we must look to the great Composer of life so we can live with one accord to create a harmonious symphony. Acts 1: 14 and 2:1 (The Holy Bible) states that hundreds of people were of one accord. That is an amazing place to be.

Let us, Recycled Moms, strive to be in one accord while maintaining integrity of conviction that comes with knowledge of God’s plan for our lives. Do not play the Blame Game. Let us take hold of our failings, our mistakes, our responsibilities for our children and all people in our vicinity. Never compromise. Never blame. Love in a godly manner and not according to what the world declares love to be and it will all end well.

I am aware these are controversial words and not politically correct and I do not care. Truth is always true and it is time we be strong and of good courage. Speak up for children, for God and for what is right. I have chosen to do just that and I blame no one for this post. I accept full responsibility and pray it brings glory to God, the truth speaker.

Times! They Are Changing!



Life is simply amazing and wonderful. As the few remaining loyal followers of this lonely blog can attest, my attention has been elsewhere. I promise (and mean it this time) that will not happen again. I sincerely love this blog and enjoy writing content for here. Being a single Recycled Mom demands a great deal of time and I have allowed that, and work, to keep me away. But as the title of this post states, times are changing.

July 31st will be my last day at my job. That will free up my days and allow me to devote more time to my fast growing boy, our home, and this website. I will work some twelve hour night shifts in another position to provide for our expenses. That will be perfect. As a night-time caregiver, my clients will sleep most of the shift, so will my boy, therefore it will not seem I am away from him so long. Also, I can write at night and keep up regular posts here. I am currently writing a historical fiction novel along with a greatly exaggerated memoir of my childhood. I will have time to work on those at night also. I tell you people, God is GOOD. All the time!

I want to give an update on my young man. He is no longer a boy. He looks, sounds and smells like a man! Yes. He has a stubbly chin, a deep voice and sweats something fierce. He has life plans and is putting those into action. He joined the Civil Air Patrol (I highly recommend it for young men) and plans to earn entrance into the Air Force Academy from there and then go directly into the Air Force as an officer. All this at age fourteen! I admire him and am proud of him beyond measure. I give God all the credit and glory. Our Pastor deserves credit also. He has sowed much time and love into my young man.knows he has to be physically in shape to make his dreams a reality. Every morning he appears fully

S. knows he has to be physically in shape to make his dreams a reality. Every morning he sleepily appears from his bedroom fully dressed with his running shoes on and we drive to a local park where he runs a mile. We do it again every evening. He is so dedicated that he never misses his runs. His time is almost at the goal set. He runs in the pouring rain, in 102 degree weather and when he does not feel well.

Can this really be the boy who was unfocused and griped because I forced him away from the television and video games? No, it is not. This is a more mature young man who knows what kind of life he wants and intends to achieve that future. He is a godly man in the making, respectful, courteous and kind. He hugs me goodnight and goodbye, tells me that he loves me and makes me proud to be a Recycled Mom. Few days go by that I do not think of the ones that cast him aside and left me to raise him. They will never know the joy they have missed or the incredible gift they bestowed on me. I am grieved and full of pity for his birth parents; the feelings of confusion and anger have long been dead. They will never be resurrected.

The body that held a womb that God blessed with life somehow did not also host a heart selfless enough to put that life first. The man God designated as a father, mentor, trainer, and leader chose to step aside and let another guide this child. I feel incredible sorrow for those two human beings who failed to grasp the amazing bounty of parenthood. And I thank God for thinking of me and having faith in me. He placed His tiny, precious creation in my hands and has sat on His throne watching all these years. I have many regrets and bitter repentances; have pleaded for forgiveness from Almighty God and my boy when I have been mean spirited or petty. I could give many reasons why. I was exhausted mentally and physically; I had a multitude of worries, yadda, yadda, ad nauseam. Those would be excuses but not reasons. I have finally overcome those failings and continue to work on many others.

That brings me back to the title of this blog post. I needed to change my life so I can spend these last priceless years with my boy; yes MY boy. Very few rare people get to be Grandmother and Mom (Recycled Mom) to a child. To a young man. To a soldier. To a man of God. I shall forever treasure my titles and my experiences.

Thank You God for changing times, redeeming lives and boundless blessings. I pray that one day, You will look at me and say, “Well done Recycled Mom, well done!” To my beautiful young man, I hope you will one day remember me as the one who loved you enough to fail in many ways but never in the act of loving you. Those times never, never change.



The fireworks are for You, God

Father, Redeemer, Healer, Provider, Teacher, Maker of Time.

Look what the Lord has done!!!