Every grandparent or kinship caregiver has a unique story, one that hurts and inspires at the same time. Whether we are raising one or ten children, there are challenges that no one else understands. Recently, I have seen a disturbing trend where some Recycled Moms disparage others. Please don’t give in to an urge to do such a thing.
Another grandmother recently told me that I have no idea what she goes through with her kids. I do and I don’t. She also let me know how” lucky” I am because I only have one grandchild to raise. I personally do not believe in luck however I am fully aware of my blessings. My point here is that she is married, I am not. Therefore I could tell her how difficult it is to not have that spousal support. I didn’t.
Getting into a back and forth about who has the rockiest road helps no one. It will only allow bitterness, envy, discouragement and all matter of unhealthy emotions to enter one’s heart. None of us walks a road without stones. We all carry bruises and joys within our heart. Trying to compare yours and mine is like comparing apples to broccoli. They are nothing alike yet both carry great nutrients although one is sweet and one is not.
What we choose to feed on nurtures our body, mind and spirit. In the Old Testament of the Holy Bible, Joshua was chosen by God to lead his people after Moses died. This was an awesome appointment. Moses had been brave, true and strong. But God told Joshua to be strong and of good courage. So Joshua put his fear and failings aside and led the people into victory as a united group of fighters. (Joshua Chapter 1)
That is us, Recycled Moms. We absolutely MUST remain united and never rip each other apart. There are already too many people in the world more than willing to tear us apart and spread news of our fears, failures, weaknesses and choices.
Is your life harder than mine? Maybe. Is mine harder than yours? Maybe. Does it matter whose is more difficult? Not at all. Together we can pass through unscathed and raise successful, happy, healthy children. We choose not to focus on the bitterness. We will seek out the joys and the sweetness that we constantly discover in the faces of the innocent children we put to bed each night.
So grab my hand and we shall sit together as parents united by love while we watch our grandchildren play in the sun. We will support one another and refuse to speak negative words about anyone else. Instead, we will pour out blessings that fall from our tongues like songs.
Recycled Mom, you are loved by Jesus and by me. Tell me your story and I will hold you up with strong arms and look at you with soft eyes. Cry if you need to weep, then we will wipe our eyes and walk on with a spring in our steps! The end of the journey is beautiful.