Most of our grandchildren are in the public school system which can become an unpleasant experience. Many factors come into play that cause a child’s daily school time to be a rewarding experience or a dreaded one. School is stressful for kids even when they love school and all is going well. When something goes wrong though, it can cause a child to lose his/her desire and love of school. We want our kids to look forward to class, not to dread it.
The teacher has all the authority, the child does not have power to fight back or defend him/herself. Sometimes personalities clash between the child and the teacher(s). It is hard to accept that an adult would fail to hide such a thing and choose not to overcome this issue. But it does happen that our beloved grandchild is in an environment where he knows he/she is not liked or loved. That is a bitter pill to swallow for adults, let alone a little child.
Sometimes it is not personal, just the personality of the teacher or whatever adult is projecting negativity toward the child. I know a little boy who receives only negative comments from his teacher. Every note that is sent home tells what he did wrong or how he failed to live up to the teacher’s expectations. This same child finished the semester at 362 percent over his reading goal and never received a word of acknowledgement. He does much right and is a funny and bright child who has always loved school but now gets a stomachache every morning when he knows he must face this teacher. He said he feels doomed and likely he is right about that.
How do I know these things? Because this is my own precious grandson. I prayed and thought for weeks about what I can do to help improve the situation and decided positive always is better than negative. There is an old saying that one can draw more flies with honey than vinegar. So I am keeping that in mind when I deal with this particular teacher. When she tells me what S. did wrong or failed to do right I listen carefully and respond accordingly. Then I ask her to tell me something he did right. For every negative, I expect a positive. This forces her to notice his strengths as well as what she considers his failures.
When we stand strong for our grandchildren, they feel secure in the knowledge that we are always on their side. My grandson knows he can tell me anything no matter how bad it is. He knows he never has to lie to me because while I will not allow him to run away from the consequences, I will be by his side to figure out a solution to any problem. As his advocate, I never leave him or force him to be alone but am there to lean on as he learns life lessons. We cry together at the hard ones and shout for joy together at the fun, easy ones.
Recycled Moms, remember there are two sides to every story. This includes what your child’s teacher is saying. Get your grandchild’s side of it before making up your mind. Don’t be afraid to bring your grandchild into a meeting with the teacher. Having them face to face can solve and even prevent confusion and miscommunication. But be positive both to the child and the teacher. Just let your little one know you are on their side-right or wrong-not matter the issue.
Love really does conquer all!