Why are we raising our grandchildren? Because we love them of course and want them to be safe and to know that love. This post is going to be very direct and to the point. Since we have these little ones because of love, we must show it and not stress, frustration, anger and a mean spirit. I hear grandparents say things like “I am giving my life to these kids and they are going to appreciate and respect me”, or “The only way I can get these boys to respect and listen to me is to use force”.
Methods like those do nothing to instill a sense of security, love and respect in a child. Frankly, they might be better off in a foster home than with a grandparent who resents what he/she is doing. Love what you do or don’t do it. I am not unrealistic here, I understand children get on one’s last nerve sometimes. Hey mine packed up and moved to parts unknown a long time ago, didn’t even leave a forwarding address. However we are the adults. We must restrain and control ourselves or the children certainly won’t. Then when they follow the example of screaming, hitting, yanking the arm and other violent actions they get in trouble.
Hitting, spanking, whipping, hurting in any manner just does not work to discipline a child. It will usually provide a few minutes respite because the child is in fear and shock. The adult has let out some stress so she feels momentarily better but oh when the guilt starts to weigh in, the heart gets very heavy. But if there is no remorse about hurting a little child, that brings up a whole other issue. Hopefully any Recycled Mom out here does indeed feel sad and sick about hitting, slapping, whipping and otherwise physically harming her child. If you don’t then it is time to take a long, honest look about your decision to raise the grandchildren and perhaps consider other options.
This is about love, not violence; joy not regret; trust not terror. Allow your precious grandchild to speak to your heart and return it to him or her. Heart over Hand wins every time! Hold out the hand of love, not pain to all children and reap a lifetime of joy in return.
Here is a great article about options to corporal punishment, written by a lovely lady who raised her grandson and is currently helping raise her new great granddaughter. http://mary615.hubpages.com/hub/Should-Corporal-Punishment-Be-Allowed-In-The-Home-And-In-Our-schools