Imagine there is a knock on your door. It is a television crew and they have secretly filmed every minute of the last 48 hours. They have a hidden camera in the kitchen, the living room and the children’s bedroom, the van and even at the everywhere else. They were at the grocery store and at soccer practice. What is your first thought? Would you remember when you lost it and screamed at your grandchild for spilling his juice and when you jerked a candy bar from him in the store, telling him he is already too fat? And what about that moment at the game when you told your granddaughter she should just quit because she is just not a good soccer player? Remember when you tossed her on the bed and told her to compose herself and you did not want to see her face until then?
See the footage when you were at church, hugging the kids and smoothing their hair. You blew them a kiss from the choir box and waved as they went off to Sunday School class. You shyly ducked your head when the Pastor told you what a great job you are doing and how lucky these kids are to have you in their lives. But in your heart, you feel sick to know you live two lives. Your intentions are true and you do love those kids with all your heart. Every time you fail, you mentally beat yourself up for days.
Do grandparent really do these things? Sadly, we do sometimes because we are flawed human beings with limited patience and exhaustible strength. We also exhibit incredible tenderness, love and compassion. Children learn from what we do. We are living a life that determines to a large degree how they turn out. When they see us act one way outside and another in the privacy of the home, they are confused and lose trust in us. They learn more by watching us than by the words we speak. They will never forget what they see at home.
We must be consistent in our actions, speech, and love toward our kids. Even during difficult moments when applying discipline, we can keep a soft tone of voice and let them know we love them. As caregivers, we must talk right and look good in front of people. Our grandchildren are the most important of those people.When we impress them, others automatically follow their eyes as they gaze at us in love.